“Christian can be so mean sometimes,” Umstattd said. Thomas Umstattd Jr., author of Courtship in Crisis: The Case for Traditional Dating and who appears in the documentary, said he’s grieving not only over Harris but also over the “cruel” comments from other Christians. Others who are in the film also reacted to Harris’ announcement of leaving Christianity and separating from his wife. Van Der Wyngaard commented, “The ideas and observations uncovered in the documentary challenge us to be discerning thinkers when it comes to relationships, but more importantly, our faith itself.” He also encourages viewers to think on their own and decide things for themselves rather than letting others make the decisions for them. In the film, he apologizes and said he doesn’t agree with much of his own book.

He acknowledges that his book led many to ultimately idolize virginity as they sought to follow a simple formula that they felt would lead to a happily ever after. The documentary features Harris speaking with various people who have been hurt by what he prescribed in his book. On Friday, she’s making her 2018 documentary “I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye” available on YouTube for free. This dynamic is a big part of what a vibrant relationship with the Living God is about,” she stated. Throughout Scripture we see individuals wrestle with God and ask hard questions. “People fear throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but we don’t have to. The conclusion should not be drawn that asking tough questions leads to falling away from the faith, she noted. Just as many Christians may have religiously followed the formula offered by Harris in his now discontinued book, Van Der Wyngaard is hoping they don’t do the same in falling away as he did. Harris is the author of the 1997 best seller I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which discouraged dating and influenced the purity movement. Like many fellow Christians, Van Der Wyngaard was surprised to hear Harris’ announcement that he is “not a Christian” anymore. “Our culture is obsessed with quick fixes, celebrities, and social media influencers, and unfortunately, Christians aren’t a whole lot different,” she said.

Rather than think through, own and take personal responsibility for one’s faith, many Christians give too much credence to the thoughts and prescriptions of one person, Jessica Van Der Wyngaard suggested in a statement this week. The “whirlwind” of attention Joshua Harris received when he said he is no longer a Christian proves to be “very telling” of the Christian culture today, the director of “I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye” said.

Joshua Harris speaks with Jessica Van Der Wyngaard, the director of “I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye.' | Courtesy of DOCS-ology/I Survived IKDG

I survived i kissed dating goodbye